摘要：import datetimeclass NewbornBaby: def __init__(self): self.birth_time = datetime.datetime.now # 精确到毫秒的仪式感 self.gender = "女" # 贴心小棉

程序员在产房外等老婆生娃，闲着无聊用代码写个出生证明～

连娃的出生时间都要精确到毫秒，程序员爹怕不是个处女座：

import datetimeclass NewbornBaby: def __init__(self): self.birth_time = datetime.datetime.now # 精确到毫秒的仪式感 self.gender = "女" # 贴心小棉袄 self.weight = 3.9 # 公斤 self.height = 50 # 单位厘米 def welcome_to_the_world(self): print("欢迎来到世界，宝贝！") # 标准出厂欢迎语baby = NewbornBabybaby.welcome_to_the_world # 输出：欢迎来到世界，宝贝！

生个娃都要写 getter，不愧是 Java 程序员，这代码量比娃的体重还重，JVM 看了都流泪：

import java.time.LocalDateTime;public class NewbornBaby { private final LocalDateTime birthTime; private final String gender; private final double weight; private final int height; public NewbornBaby { this.birthTime = LocalDateTime.now; this.gender = "女"; this.weight = 3.9; this.height = 50; } public void welcomeToTheWorld { System.out.println("欢迎来到世界，宝贝！"); } // 自动生成的getter方法（必须要有！） public LocalDateTime getBirthTime { return birthTime; } public String getGender { return gender; } public double getWeight { return weight; } public int getHeight { return height; }}

娃连性别都是随机的～

const baby = { birthTime: new Date, gender: Math.random > 0.5 ? "男" : "女", // 随机抽卡 weight: 3.5 + Math.random, // 玄学体重 welcome: => console.log("哇～") // 迷惑行为};baby.welcome; // 输出：哇～

连娃都要放在栈上分配，怕内存泄漏是吧？

#include #include class NewbornBaby {public: NewbornBaby { time(&birthTime); gender = "女"; weight = 3.9; height = 50; } void welcomeToTheWorld { std::cout

连娃的结构体都要严格对齐，强迫症晚期：

package mainimport ( "fmt" "time")type NewbornBaby struct { birthTime time.Time gender string weight float64 height int}func (b *NewbornBaby) welcomeToTheWorld { fmt.Println("欢迎来到世界，宝贝！")}func main { baby := NewbornBaby{ time.Now, "女", 3.9, 50, } baby.welcomeToTheWorld}

连娃都是数组生的，以后肯定是个JSON，welcome 还是匿名函数，亲爹都不给个正经方法？

date('Y-m-d H:i:s'), 'gender' => '女', 'weight' => 3.9, 'height' => 50, 'welcome' => function { echo "哇～哇～哇～"; }];$baby['welcome']; // 输出：哇～哇～哇～?>7、Bash 硬核派

生个娃都要写 shell 脚本，娃以后肯定是个运维：

#!/bin/bashbirth_time=$(date "+%Y-%m-%d %H:%M:%S")gender="女"weight=3.9height=50function welcome_to_the_world { echo "欢迎来到世界，宝贝！"}welcome_to_the_world8、HTML 程序员版本

生个娃都要套 div，孩子以后肯定是个前端切图仔～

欢迎来到世界！

建议加个@keyframes让娃动起来，不然太静态：

#baby { "birth_time": "3000-01-01 12:00:00", "gender": "女", "color": yellow, "eye_color": "blue", "hair_color": "brown", "weight": 3.9, "height": 50, "welcome_message": "哇～哇～哇～"}

var 关键字暴露了你是个 C# 混子：