摘要：教给中考生把英语二类文变成一类文儿的方法。先看英语写作的已知条件：随着生活水平提高，人们在假日旅游，因此我想跟你谈谈如何作一名文明游客，就此问题你的看法是什么呢？期待你的答复！假如你是张丽，请根据以下邮件提示，给你的朋友Linda回复一封邮件。要求：1可根据邮

文/刘宝彩/天津

教给中考生把英语二类文变成一类文儿的方法。先看英语写作的已知条件：随着生活水平提高，人们在假日旅游，因此我想跟你谈谈如何作一名文明游客，就此问题你的看法是什么呢？期待你的答复！假如你是张丽，请根据以下邮件提示，给你的朋友Linda回复一封邮件。要求：1可根据邮件要点适当发挥；2语句通顺、连贯，叙述要有条理；3词数80次左右。

本修改文由四个部分所构成：㈠中考生写作二类文英语作文；㈡把二类文修改成一类文；㈢本文作者用“英语思维逻辑法”写英语作文；㈣对中考生英语作文不妥，修改及其修改理由和改后结果的句段。

㈠中考生写作二类文英语作文：

Dear Linda,

Glad to hear from you. Now I’d like to share my opinion on how to be a civilized tourist with you. First of all, it is important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins. Then, touristic supposed to follow the local rules. At last to be a civilized tourist, we also have to keep quiet in public. All above are my ideas about being a civilized tourist. Could you please tell me something else?

Yours,

Zhang Li

㈡把二类文修改成一类文：

Dear Linda,

I thank you so much for your E-mail asking me for my opinion on how to be one of the civilized tourists. This enables me to find it important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins. Getting the environment friendly, as one of tourists, I am always remaining polite to local people without speaking to them rudely. This has me follow the public-order rules locally, not to talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily. (或者To get the public well quiet, I would not talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily.）The above behaviour should help me with the improvement publicly in good order. This shows it is right of me to do something pleasant to share to most people. They will be encouraged to act reasonably and actively in the public.

Yours,

Zhang Li

㈢本文作者用“英语思维逻辑法”写英语作文：

Dear Linda,

I thank you so much for your E-mail asking me for my opinion on how to be one of the civilized tourists when I could travel in holiday’s time. This brings a joy at happiness to me. I should share the joy to people in local places. To them I pay a visit to make beautiful by my actions in the public. That helps local people get much more familiar to me to bring the great civilization to them.

As one of tourists I am always remaining polite to them, by keeping their environment friendly or clean, without throwing the rubbish here and there in the public and speaking to people rudely. This has me follow the public-order rules locally, not to talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily.

The above behaviour should help me with the improvement publicly in good order. This shows it is right of me to do something pleasant to share to the other. They will be encouraged to act reasonably and actively in the public. That brings more people to be well strict about their actions by morality and civilization they could.

This reminds me of having a great future in being one of civilized tourists to my benefit.

㈣对中考生写如下英语作文不妥之处，修改及其修改理由和改后结果的句段：

Dear Linda,

Glad to hear from you. Now I’d like to share my opinion on how to be a civilized tourist with you. First of all, it is important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins. Then, tourist supposed to follow the local rules. At last to be a civilized tourist, we also have to keep quiet in public. All above are my ideas about being a civilized tourist. Could you please tell me something else?

Yours,

Zhang Li

注意：对原文每个句子编了顺序号，以方便点评。

Dear Linda,

①Glad to hear from you. ②Now I’d like to share my opinion on how to be a civilized tourist with you. ③First of all, it is important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins. ④Then, touristic supposed to follow the local rules. ⑤At last to be a civilized tourist, we also have to keep quiet in public. ⑥All above are my ideas about being a civilized tourist. ⑦Could you please tell me something else?

Yours,

Zhang Li

点评：整体表达有效内容包括：③保护环境不乱丢垃圾、④遵守当地规章、⑤在公共场合保持安静...；无效内容①②⑥⑦可不说。其具体详述如下：

①Glad to hear from you. 这句话属于口语语言没有问题，但是根据“第二节 书面表达”要求，就欠妥了，因为缺少了主语 I am（glad to ...），需要记住:凡是书面表达不能省略也不能缩写（如② I’d，应该I would）。本句约等于I thank you for your E-mail...较好。

②Now I'd like to share my opinion on how to be a civilized tourist with you. 这句话等于照搬原来“提示要点句”了，所以判（阅）卷老师看到心里就感到“不舒服了”，如要老师感觉舒服就换一种说法，如“I thank you so much for your E-mail asking me for my opinion on how to be one of the civilized tourists...”而且老师看后有眼前一亮的感觉了，暗暗地会给你升档次加分数，我想。

③First of all, it is important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins. 此句虽然有内容但显得没有“化妆”。也就是说，这句话表达似乎是“从天而降”因为“无因无果”。

特别注意的是：国外书面表达一定是“用英语思维逻辑‘定势’——左找原因，右寻结果，即：左找原因（...by getting their environment friendly or clean...）←（提示句）中心句意（As one of tourists, I am always remaining polite to local people）→右寻结果（...without throwing the rubbish here and there in the public and speaking to people rudely.）。这些就组成逻辑组句，即以中心句意为核心而展开写作”。或逻辑组句改为“I find it important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins.”后，就符合英语思维逻辑原理了，因为加上了“I find it”这样就把“Zhang Li”凸现出来了特别是其观点。再加上“This enables me to find...即：This enables me to find it important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins.”，那么第③句在逻辑上就更加紧密地与第②句联结起来而显得逻辑结构方面“天衣无缝”了。

这正是作文出题老师提出的要求：1可适当发挥；2语句通顺、连贯，叙述要有条理。换句话说：考生要“瞄准”大考判（阅）卷老师的四要求：“⑴适当加入细节、⑵语言流畅，⑶英语思维，⑷逻辑清晰”写作英语作文就是这样操作的，所以付出辛苦宝贵时间背诵模板范文收效低，就在于此，其中③First of all明显是模板“味道”的词语，应避免。

避免的方法是使用代词，这里用的是them和前句中同样都有them→As one of tourists I am always remaining polite to them...，如此让“思路”保持“畅通”。

④Then, touristic supposed to follow the local rules. 其中Then也是模板“味道”的词语，应避免，方法是使用This代替上句整体的内容，本质上就是Then之意，但在英语思维逻辑上讲就是“因此，所以”等意思，由此又上升了一层次，让形式和内容达到“双提升”这就叫英语思维逻辑写作英语。另外应写全称tourists are因是书面表达。This has me follow the public-order rules locally, not to talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily.

⑤At last to be a civilized tourist, we also have to keep quiet in public. 其中之一At last...also 也是模板“味道”的词语，应避免，方法是仍然接续使用上述的This...，其中之二a civilized tourist, 与we在数上逻辑不符，所以把we改为I, 其中之三，keep quiet in public应表述为keep the public quiet（保持公共安静）,才符合英语逻辑单句的“主 + 谓 + 宾（名/代词）+ 补足语（形容词）之句型，例句：Please keep the room clean.”。事实上原句子内容显得有“喊口号”之感觉，如加上一些内容，就更好了，例如：I would keep the public quiet not to talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily, 如此符合老师提出英语作文的要求：1可根据要点适当发挥；2语句通顺、连贯，叙述要有条理。或者To get the public well quiet, I would not to talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily.

⑥All above are my ideas about being a civilized tourist. 此句实际上还是提示句的间接重复，为免重复改为“The above behaviour should helps me with the improvement publicly in good order.”由此继续推理得出结果是“This shows it is right of me to do something pleasant to share to most people. They will be encouraged to act reasonably and actively in the public.”所以，不但要点适当发挥，而且叙述又有条理性，还没有照搬“...being a civilized tourist”之嫌疑，结果判卷老师可能给升档次加分数了。

⑦Could you please tell me something else?此句应删除，因为“张华”和“LINDA”谈“如何作一名文明游客”看法无关联。

对①至⑦改后结果的句段汇总如下：

Dear Linda,

I thank you so much for your E-mail asking me for my opinion on how to be one of the civilized tourists. This enables me to find it important for tourists to protect the environment by throwing the rubbish into bins. Getting the environment friendly, as one of tourists, I am always remaining polite to local people without speaking to them rudely. This has me follow the public-order rules locally, not to talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily. (或者To get the public well quiet, I would not talk loudly and smoke cigarettes heavily.）The above behaviour should helps me with the improvement publicly in good order. This shows it is right of me to do something pleasant to share to most people. They will be encouraged to act reasonably and actively in the public.

Yours,

Zhang Li

总结：

汇总英语作文就是有理有据，即：有原因有结果之逻辑推理，来谈论“如何作一名文明游客”之看法的一类中考英语作文。

以上四部分清楚了：㈠中考生写作二类文英语作文；㈡把二类文修改成一类文；㈢本文作者用“英语思维逻辑法”写英语作文；㈣对中考生英语作文不妥，修改及其修改理由和改后结果的句段。即考生理解了——为啥英语写作“急功近利”抄模板套范文 是高分作文前进中的绊脚石——之道理了。更明白了：妙！教给中考考生把英语二类文变成一类文儿的方法了！

编辑语：

《为啥英语写作“急功近利”抄模板套范文 是高分作文前进中的绊脚石》一文阐述三方面内容：

1. 文章思路清晰，层次分明：文章首先指出了中考生英语作文存在的问题，然后提供了修改后的作文，最后对作文进行了点评，整体层次清晰，易于理解。

2. 点评内容详细，有深度：文章对中考生作文的点评非常详细，指出了作文中存在的模板化、逻辑不清晰等问题，并提供了相应的改进建议，点评内容有深度，能够帮助考生提高写作水平。

3. 提供了范文和写作方法：文章提供了范文和写作方法，能够帮助考生更好地理解和掌握英语写作的技巧和方法，提高写作能力。

来源：原创英语写作范文