摘要:成年人系列 (三)放下纠结 回忆自己的人生,大多数时候都是不快乐的,有的时候甚至很不快乐。而主要的原因就是总是有很多矛盾,总是纠结。大都是别人想要的,自己没有做到;比如孩子希望我有更多的钱,可以给他更好的生活;爱人希望我有更多的时间,给她更多的陪伴。而自己的能
成年人系列 (三)放下纠结 回忆自己的人生,大多数时候都是不快乐的,有的时候甚至很不快乐。而主要的原因就是总是有很多矛盾,总是纠结。大都是别人想要的,自己没有做到;比如孩子希望我有更多的钱,可以给他更好的生活;爱人希望我有更多的时间,给她更多的陪伴。而自己的能力又有限,要上班,要学习,要生活。而往往自己做的,又不是别人想要的。比如我总在加班,可是又没有看到多少收入;我总在学习外语,又没有看到什么收益。同样,自己生气,也是认为自己想要的,别人没有做到;比如希望孩子的成绩更好一点,可是孩子觉得我太贪婪,要求太多;希望爱人能够做一些更美味的饭菜,可是爱人却觉得上班太累;希望自己加班加点,能够得到老板的赏识,可是每次提拔的名单上总是没有自己的名字。别人做的,又不是自己想要的。比如孩子总是在玩游戏,自己看的急火攻心;爱人弄得很多花花草草,爱人喜欢得不得了,自己却觉得挤占了本来就不大的生活空间;而每次红榜上公布的升职的总是别的名字,除了羡慕也无可奈何。这样的现实就是每个人都必须面对的活生生的人生。躲不开逃不掉。所能做的,只有自己放下纠结,坦然面对,一切都是好的结果,都是自己的选择,或者都是自己无法选择。只有不纠结,接受这些结果,专注于自己的追求,外面的世界就当它是风是雨是阳光是雾霾,它变由它变,我一定要爱我自己。
Adult Series (3) Let Go of Confusion Reflecting on one's own life, most of the time is not happy, and sometimes even very unhappy. The main reason is that there are always many contradictions and constant纠结. Mostly, what others want, one cannot achieve; for example, the child hopes that I have more money, so that he can have a better life; the lover hopes that I have more time, so that she can have more companionship. But one's own abilities are limited, one has to go to work, study, and live. And often what one does is not what others want. For example, I am always working overtime, but I don't see much income; I am always learning a foreign language, but I don't see any benefits. Similarly, when one is angry, it is because one thinks that what one wants, others have not done; for example, hoping that the child's grades are better, but the child thinks that I am too greedy and demanding too much; hoping that the lover can cook more delicious meals, but the lover thinks that working is too tiring; hoping to work overtime and get the boss's appreciation, but each promotion list always has someone else's name. What others do is not what one wants. For example, the child always plays games, and one is extremely anxious; the lover plants a lot of flowers and plants, the lover loves them very much, but one thinks that it occupies the already limited living space; and each time the promotion list on the red banner is always someone else's name, except for envy, there is nothing else to do. Such a reality is the vivid life that everyone must face. It cannot be avoided or escaped. What one can do is to let go of the纠结, face it calmly, everything is a good outcome, it is one's own choice, or it is something one cannot choose. Only by not纠结, accepting these results, focusing on one's pursuit, the outside world can be regarded as wind, rain, sunlight, haze, it changes as it will, I must love myself.
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