摘要：Humor fosters psychological flexibility and resilience in the face of betrayal and trauma.Humor that transforms pain involves affi

Humor and the Power of Perspective

幽默与视角的力量

Embracing psychological flexibility and humor to transform pain into power.

拥抱心理灵活性和幽默，将痛苦转化为力量。

Updated September 9, 2025 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.

更新于2025年9月9日 | 由 Monica Vilhauer 博士审核。

Humor fosters psychological flexibility and resilience in the face of betrayal and trauma.Humor that transforms pain involves affiliative and self-enhancing humor.Vulnerability and laughter can coexist, fostering connection and healing.Taking power back after betrayal is about choosing how to carry the past forward.Have you experienced trauma, loss or betrayal that has left you feeling shattered?

幽默可以培养人们在面对背叛和创伤时的心理灵活性和适应力。转化痛苦的幽默包括亲和性幽默和自我增强性幽默。脆弱和笑声可以共存，促进联系和治愈。在背叛之后夺回权力就是选择如何继续前行。您是否经历过令您心碎的创伤、失去或背叛？

What role has humor played, either in your betrayal or your recovery?

在你的背叛或康复过程中，幽默发挥了什么作用？

Humor Can Be Used To Harm or Heal

幽默既可以用来伤害，也可以用来治愈

Humor is used by bullies and perpetrators to increase the pain of betrayal by reinforcing stereotypes and existing power structures. And yet! Humor is a powerful tool of recovery, allowing us to challenge the narrative of the hegemony, compassionately connect to others, and take a new perspective on our pain.

欺凌者和施暴者会利用幽默来强化刻板印象和现有的权力结构，从而加剧背叛的痛苦。然而！幽默是强大的康复工具，它让我们能够挑战霸权的叙事，以同理心与他人建立联系，并以全新的视角看待自身的痛苦。

Humor and Recovery

幽默与康复

Humor plays a significant role in recovery from trauma, betrayal and loss. A study that surveyed 21,449 active-duty US Army Soldiers on risk and resilience showed that the use of humor (along with perceived unit cohesion and morale) uniquely contributed to lower PTSD symptoms after accounting for deployment stressors (Ward, et al., 2024). In a study surveying 179 firefighters at two time points, coping humor buffered the relationship between experiences of trauma, burnout and PTSD (Sliter, Kale, Yuan, 2014). Humor fosters psychological flexibility—the ability to adapt to life's challenges with openness and resilience (Kashdan Rottenberg, 2010).

幽默在从创伤、背叛和失落中恢复的过程中发挥着重要作用。一项针对21449名现役美国陆军士兵的风险与韧性的调查显示，在考虑了部署压力因素后，幽默的运用（以及感知到的部队凝聚力和士气）对降低创伤后应激障碍（ PTSD）症状具有独特的促进作用（Ward等人，2024）。一项在两个时间点对179名消防员进行调查的研究表明，应对幽默可以缓解创伤经历、倦怠和PTSD之间的关系（Sliter、Kale和Yuan，2014）。幽默可以培养心理灵活性——以开放的心态和韧性应对生活挑战的能力（Kashdan和Rottenberg，2010）。

But what kind of humor makes a difference?

但什么样的幽默会起到作用呢？

Benign vs. Injurious Humor

良性幽默与有害幽默

Martin and colleagues (2003) developed a Humor Styles Questionnaire that has been used in multiple studies to explore the role of humor in mental health. They identified "benign humor" as humor that helps us build relationships and cope with stress, and "injurious humor" as humor that expresses hostility and diminishes oneself. Benign humor includes affiliative humor, where two people share amusement about their experience together, and self-enhancing humor involves maintaining a hopeful outlook during adversity. Research indicates that benign humor styles are linked to lower trauma-related symptoms in both survivors and their spouses, suggesting a protective, buffering effect (Besser, et al, 2015). In contrast, injurious humor styles—aggressive and self-defeating—are generally associated with negative outcomes.

Martin 及其同事（2003）开发了一份幽默风格问卷，该问卷已被多项研究用于探索幽默在心理健康中的作用。他们认为，“良性幽默”是指帮助我们建立人际关系和应对压力的幽默，而“有害幽默”是指表达敌意和贬低自我的幽默。良性幽默包括亲和性幽默，即两个人分享彼此共同经历的乐趣；而自我提升性幽默则指在逆境中保持乐观的态度。研究表明，良性幽默风格与创伤幸存者及其配偶的创伤相关症状减轻相关，这表明它具有保护性和缓冲作用（Besser 等人，2015）。相比之下，有害性幽默风格——攻击性和自我挫败性——通常与负面结果相关。

Zarna Garg Models Affiliative and Self-Enhancing Humor

Zarna Garg 塑造亲和型和自我提升型幽默

Zarna Garg, a celebrated comedian and storyteller, offers a powerful example of how humor can aid in recovery from devastating personal losses and betrayals. Zarna grew up in Mumbai, India. At the age of 14, she lost her mother suddenly. Shortly after, her father gave her an ultimatum: either agree to an arranged marriage or leave home. Faced with the choice, Zarna made the courageous decision to leave and find her own way (Garg, 2023). For two years, she couch surfed and sometimes lived on the streets until she obtained a visa to move to the US and live with her sister's family (ibid).

著名喜剧演员兼故事讲述者扎尔娜·加格（Zarna Garg）为我们提供了一个强有力的例子，展现了幽默如何帮助人们从毁灭性的个人损失和背叛中恢复过来。扎尔娜在印度孟买长大。14岁时，她突然失去了母亲。不久之后，她的父亲给她下了最后通牒：要么同意包办婚姻，要么离家出走。面对选择，扎尔娜勇敢地决定离开，寻找自己的道路（加格，2023年）。两年来，她寄居在沙发上，有时甚至露宿街头，直到她获得签证前往美国，与姐姐一家同住（同上）。

During this challenging time, Zarna discovered the power of humor as a survival strategy. She describes the development of affiliative humor—the kind of humor that involves affirming our shared human experience. "As a young teen, I quickly learned the value of 'being the fun one.' Friends, relatives and strangers opened up their homes to me because I made them laugh and kept it light" (Garg, 2023). Zarna Garg's stand-up comedy involves jokes about raising children, mother-in-laws, Indian and American culture, and other vulnerable, sticky human moments in a way that helps us all take ourselves less seriously and see each other more compassionately.

在这段充满挑战的时期，扎娜发现了幽默作为生存策略的力量。她描述了亲和性幽默的发展——这种幽默包含着对我们共同的人类体验的肯定。“十几岁的时候，我很快就明白了‘做一个有趣的人’的价值。朋友、亲戚和陌生人都敞开心扉接纳我，因为我能让他们开怀大笑，让气氛轻松愉快。”（加格，2023）扎娜·加格的单口喜剧包含关于养育孩子、婆婆、印度和美国文化以及其他脆弱而棘手的人类时刻的笑话，以一种帮助我们所有人放下自我，以更富有同情心的方式看待彼此。

While humor can be used to avoid, self-enhancing humor involves facing pain head-on. The saying comedy is tragedy plus time is applicable here. As Zarna writes, "Comedy is rooted in discomfort, but teaches you to keep perspective and turn the pain into therapy" (Garg, n.d.). In her comedy, Zarna Garg unblinkingly names her betrayals, recognizes the impact of these betrayals, integrates these experiences into her life story, surrenders her need for perfect closure, and gives all of us the chance to muse about how these hardships made her the unflappable powerhouse she is today.

幽默可以用来逃避，而自我提升的幽默则需要直面痛苦。“喜剧是悲剧加上时间”这句话在这里非常适用。正如扎娜·加格所写：“喜剧根植于不适，但它教会你保持洞察力，将痛苦转化为疗愈。”（加格，未注明日期）扎娜·加格在她的喜剧中坦诚地指出了她所遭受的背叛，认识到了这些背叛的影响，将这些经历融入到她的人生故事中，放弃了对完美结局的渴望，并让我们所有人都有机会思考这些苦难是如何让她成为如今如此强大的。

R.I.S.E. Through Humor

通过幽默崛起

Affiliative and self-enhancing humor serve as an important internal resource that can help trauma survivors and their loved ones better manage psychological distress. These types of humor involve compassion and psychological flexibility. Consider the R.I.S.E. framework (Recognize, Integrate, Surrender, Empower) to explore some ways comedians have used humor to heal from betrayal:

亲和性幽默和自我提升性幽默是重要的内在资源，可以帮助创伤幸存者及其亲人更好地应对心理困扰。这类幽默蕴含着同情心和心理灵活性。不妨参考RISE框架（识别、整合、臣服、赋能），探索喜剧演员运用幽默治愈背叛的一些方法：

Recognize the impact and name the betrayal. In Wanda Sykes’ now-famous comedy routine about rape, she brings down the house while holding our society accountable for continued violence against women.

认清影响，直指背叛。旺达·塞克丝这出如今已声名远播的关于强奸的喜剧，在引发全场轰动的同时，也让社会为持续存在的针对女性的暴力行为承担责任。

Integrating the experience into one's life story. Tig Notaro, in her stand up set, "Live" (2012), addresses a series of devastating events that all happened in a short period—her partner’s infidelity, her mother’s sudden death, and her own cancer diagnosis. She jokes about the vulnerability of the human condition like this: “So my girlfriend left me. She was cheating on me. And I found out right after my mom died. I was like, ‘Oh, okay, so this is how life works. You think you’re at rock bottom, and then someone hands you a shovel.'"

将经历融入人生故事。蒂格·诺塔罗（Tig Notaro）在2012年的单口喜剧《现场》（Live）中，讲述了一系列在短时间内发生的毁灭性事件——伴侣的出轨、母亲的突然去世，以及她自己被诊断出癌症。她这样调侃人性的脆弱：“我的女朋友离开了我。她背叛了我。我妈妈去世后我才发现这件事。我当时想，‘哦，好吧，生活就是这样。你以为自己已经跌入谷底，然后有人递给你一把铲子。’”

Surrendering the need for retribution or perfect closure. As John Mullaney said in "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City" (2018), “You know, you grow up thinking adults have all the answers. Then you get older and realize, ‘Oh, no one knows what they’re doing.’ I used to want to go back and confront all those teachers and priests who made me feel weird or guilty. But now, I just think, ‘Eh, they were just people, too.’"

放弃报复或完美结局的渴望。正如约翰·穆拉尼在《无线电城的华丽少年》（2018）中所说：“你知道，你长大后总以为大人知道所有答案。然后你长大后才意识到，‘哦，没人知道自己在做什么。’我曾经想回到过去，面对那些让我感到奇怪或内疚的老师和牧师。但现在，我只是觉得，‘呃，他们也只是普通人而已。’”

Empowering oneself to move forward with renewed purpose. Mel Brooks got the whole world laughing at perpetrators of violence and dehumanization. He stated, "if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance."

赋予自己力量，以新的目标继续前进。梅尔·布鲁克斯让全世界嘲笑那些施暴者和非人化行为的实施者。他说：“如果你能用喜剧把这些人打倒，他们就毫无希望了。”

Zarna Garg's R.I.S.E.

Zarna Garg 的 RISE

Zarna's story embodies these R.I.S.E. principles. Her comedy, rich with personal anecdotes and cultural insights, invites audiences to confront their own betrayals with honesty and humor, modeling how vulnerability and laughter can coexist. She recognized her pain, integrated it into her comedy, surrendered the fantasy of a perfect resolution, and empowered herself by building a new life and career (after 18 different failed businesses—including disposable toothbrush company and a matchmaking business). Zarna's comedic lens allowed her to process betrayal without becoming mired in resentment. By sharing her story on stage, she lightened her own burden and created space for others to laugh, Reflect, and heal. Women all over the world now hear their own story in Zarna's, and are finding hope that they too might be able to carry their betrayal forward in a lighter, wiser, and more powerful way.

扎娜的故事体现了这些 RISE 原则。她的喜剧作品充满个人轶事和文化洞见，引导观众以诚实和幽默的方式直面自身的背叛，展现了脆弱与欢笑如何共存。她认识到自身的痛苦，并将其融入喜剧，放弃了完美结局的幻想，并通过建立新的生活和事业（在经历了18家不同的企业——包括一次性牙刷公司和婚介公司——之后）来增强自身的力量。扎娜的喜剧视角使她能够坦然面对背叛，而不会陷入怨恨的泥潭。通过在舞台上分享自己的故事，她减轻了自己的负担，并为他人创造了欢笑、反思和疗愈的空间。如今，世界各地的女性都能在扎娜的故事中听到自己的故事，并从中找到希望，相信她们也能以更轻松、更睿智、更有力的方式，继续承受背叛的痛苦。

Reflect

反映

How has humor helped you cope with difficult experiences in your own life?

幽默如何帮助您应对生活中的困难经历？

What part of your story might benefit from re-storying or a new perspective?

您的故事的哪一部分可以通过重新讲述或采用新视角受益？

来源：左右图史